ECB send Flower packing

The English National Cricket team is in disarray this morning as it was reported that head coach Andy Flower had been removed from his position with immediate effect, as well as being referred to a psychiatric doctor by officials in the ECB. Though it is not known for certain the reasons behind this radical move, it is believed to have stemmed from a comment made by Flower during a meeting following England's defeat to Pakistan in the third Test at The Oval. An ECB press release statement announced that Flower had been forced to step down from his post due to being mentally unfit to continue as the national head coach. However an inside source claimed that this whole incident started when Flower was discussing about the time when he was playing cricket. "He (Flower) was talking to David Collier and Giles Clarke about having a wicketkeeper batting in the top 5, and said that he himself had done just that when playing for Zimbabwe. It was at that moment that Collier collapsed and Clarke started raging at Flower, asking him what on earth he was going on about some team called Zimbabwe." Said our source "Flower responded that it was the country of his birth but Clarke was having none of it, taunting Flower and questioning why he was making up a country. Flower looked a bit bemused to be honest, but when he mentioned that India had played in Zimbabwe recently then it really kicked off, fists flying and biting etc."

Once the pair had been broken up and Flower restrained by Gooch and Saker, Clarke demanded he be removed from the premises and taken to his own personal counsellor for immediate treatment for delusions and insanity. When questioned in the immediate aftermath of the incident, Clarke explained his actions. "We can't have the head coach of the national side losing his mind. He had gone on before about people like Sean Ervine, Murray Goodwin, Heath Streak but as far as we know they are unattached nationals. Actually, they might be South Africans, probably. Thing is, what on earth is this Zimbabwe place? We can't have a person in a position of power making stuff up, he might as well have claimed he had played cricket for Mbolobololand or Wales or something imaginary."