Dear Danish

Dear Danish,

Just, keep away from us, yeah? Look mate we thought you were decent and some of the performances you've put in for us and Essex have been good. But come on. You don't have anything on Saeed Ajmal. For goodness sake the bloke looks like he's gonna knock on your door one day and break your legs if you don't pay money back on time. How's the doosra of yours? Alright? Well let me tell you something, Ajmal's is better, much better. He's a finger spinner! You're supposed to be a leggie but currently Saeed has five times the number of wickets you have this series, and probably 5 times as many runs, I don't know but either way you're crap. You just annoy me so much with your annoying voice and your annoying hand movements and your annoying fielding. I've never seen Saeed field but I bet it's better than yours, just like everything he does is better than you. Seriously if I were you then I'd just end my cricketing career right now. Kind regards,

Ijaz Butt, xx
The guy you've seen in a suit and on that shaky video of Kakmal or something.

PS: Keep going mate, you're not far from the selectors' thoughts.

PPS: Take your stupid teeth with you too.